well sure enough the time has come where cris must come home from the hospital, as a matter of fact i was surprised that the stay was so long. most of the time they are discharged within 3 to 4 days cris's stay was 6 days.
prior to the discharge there is a meeting that is held in this case it was both of us and the team leader
your instructed not to upset the child or bring up past history i always wonder what that's about and how can we resolve if in fact its not brought up while its fresh
but none the less i follow instructions and try to make sense of all of this
as i desperately refrain myself from falling apart i whisper "how are you"
and then there's silence no response no remorse no eye contact.
i feel like screaming i start to imagine how he's feeling and of course the guilt kicks in and i'm drawn into this dark hole by someone a third of my age
quickly i realize that that is not going to take me anywhere,so i regroup and try to stay positive
the meeting is adjourned and i'm instructed that i should pick up cris tomorrow by 2 pm
great i think well we've been down this road oh about 15 times, what can possibly be different now, but you know what i chose to just live today and tomorrow we'll see
the plan
inpatient substance abuse treatment (hello we've been there twice)
follow up medication management
individual therapy
as far as the medication goes i can't shove it down his throat and if i am aware that he is actively using i refuse to administer him meds!
individual therapy well he doesn't say a word other than i don't want to talk about it
you know what i don't want to live it!!!
but all that sounds great and dandy but the reality is ONE
these are the cards that were dealt to me so i can either play or draw today i choose to play
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
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1 comment:
You are not alone chiquitica.
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