IN DENIAL

as i'm thinking today as what to post i'm in a blank and am having a hard time sorting stuff out. alot has happen in a short period and although i'm used to the hustle and bustle... i feel that i just can't take it any longer. a little less than a week ago there was an incident at home where i realized that one of my sons was using drugs, naturally i confronted him, but of course he denies this happening and then reverts to self mutilation. i can't tell you what could be more disturbing or scary. i don't know what to do, i'm scared, i'm scared for him, for his safety. in febuary we went thru this as well and when i reached out i was instructed in filing a petition in the court, i did. shortly after this he was placed and i held on to HOPE. well about a month into the program he was booted out for threats to staff members. and that was the end of that, i tried reaching out and being supportive and for awhile i did see the effort however the downfall was inevitable. last week i noticed strange behavior and found him in my room immediately upon confronting him he swiftly exited my room and out the house. i tried to see what was he looking for and as i went thru my jewelry i noticed that one of my diamond rings were gone($1500.00) the value of the ring is meaning less the action i probably will get over it , its the fact that in front of my eyes i see a young man that has so much potential and decides to throw everything out the window.i'm trying desperately to seek services for him and as i traveled the substance abuse route and got nowhere today i believe that i should travel another route... i'm seeking behavioral modification rehab program where he will gather the tools necessary to manage his anger, express whats going on or at least understand whats going on within, maybe he can make peace with himself and as he learns to feel good about who he is he more than likely not seek out drugs and much less hurt himself. you know some of us have the ability to disconnect however we can never disconnect from oneself we need to love and understand ourselves for you are the one and only that will always be with you.